When Someone You Love Says They’re Broken
A mother’s reflection on mental illness, soul wounds, and the hidden gold within us all
Today, my daughter texted me from a place of deep pain. Her words were raw, heavy, unfiltered:
“I feel broken, hopeless. I see no real point in human existence. I wish I was strong enough to end it, but there’s a subconscious will to keep going—and I hate it.”
As a mother, my heart cracked open. I wrote back, “That is your soul—your beautiful soul.” She responded:
“My soul is not beautiful. It’s disgusting and horrid. That’s not my soul anyway, it’s the human condition. I have no gifts. I only bring more evilness to the world. Humans shouldn’t exist. We kill and destroy.”
Breathe. This is the part no one wants to talk about. Not because we don’t care, but because we’re afraid—afraid of saying the wrong thing, of not knowing how to help, of facing the darkness without a flashlight.
We live in a world that responds to mental illness with “just try yoga,” or “think happy thoughts,” or “get outside more.”
Can you imagine saying the same to someone with a broken leg?
Or to someone having a stroke? Or with high blood pressure: “Just relax.”
We wouldn’t. Because we know those conditions are real, not just a matter of willpower. And yet we minimize emotional pain. We tiptoe around suffering. We label it as weakness. When in truth, it’s often the strongest among us who feel it most.
Mind. Body. Soul.
Mental health isn’t just mental. It’s woven into the body. It’s etched into the spirit. And it can’t be fixed with a single solution, a single label, or a single moment of clarity.
Sometimes it’s situational—a divorce, a loss, a stretch of stress that frays the nervous system.
Sometimes it’s biological—a misfiring of neurotransmitters, a hormonal storm.
And sometimes… it’s soul-deep. A disconnection from meaning. From purpose. From self.
There is no single answer. Only a combination of care:
- Creating safe environments
- Supporting the physical body—nutrition, rest, movement
- Tending to the soul—connection, truth, and the deep work of listening
We Are All the Golden Buddha
There’s a parable I love—about a Golden Buddha in Thailand.
Covered in clay to protect it from invaders, it sat hidden for centuries.
One day, a crack revealed what was underneath: solid gold.
That story stays with me.
Because we are all that Buddha.
Life coats us with fear, trauma, grief, shame.
It convinces us we are the clay—hardened, dull, unworthy.
But beneath the layers, we are gold.
Every one of us.
Even when we can’t see it.
Even when someone we love can’t feel it.
Even when they’re convinced they are broken, or empty, or evil.
The gold remains.
To Anyone Hurting—Or Loving Someone Who Is
Please don’t rush to fix.
Don’t minimize or wrap it in positivity.
Be there.
Ask how they feel—and really listen.
And when they say the darkest thing, stay. Stay right there.
Not with answers.
But with presence.
With your steady breath, your soft voice, and the reminder:
You are not alone.
This is not the end.
And beneath it all… your soul is still shining.”
✍️ About the Author
My name is Nancy Waring, and I’m a yoga teacher, breathwork facilitator, and wellness coach with a deep passion for helping others reconnect with their inner wisdom. My work is grounded in the belief that healing isn’t about fixing what’s broken—it’s about remembering what’s whole.
As the author of The Vibrant Sage and a guide for women navigating the transitions of midlife and beyond, I offer retreats, classes, and coaching that focus on balance, energy, and self-compassion.
If this message spoke to you—if you’re holding space for someone else, or longing to feel more balanced within—I’d love to connect.
📩 You can reach me at: nancy@thevibrantsage.com
🌐 Learn more at: www.thevibrantsage.com
You are never alone. And you are always enough.
If You or Someone You Love Is Struggling
You are not alone, and there is help.
- National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.) – Dial or text 988
Available 24/7 for confidential support
- Crisis Text Line – Text HELLO to 741741
Free, 24/7 support from trained crisis counselors
- NAMI HelpLine – 1-800-950-NAMI (6264) or text “HelpLine” to 62640
Support for individuals and families facing mental illness
- For those outside the U.S., visit: www.befrienders.org
to find emotional support in your country
Please don’t carry this alone. There are people who want to walk with you.
