Mental Health Isn’t Always What It Looks Like

6 May 2025

I grew up not knowing what mental health was. My mom was likely depressed, but I didn’t realize it at the time. I just thought drinking screwdrivers (vodka and OJ) at noon was normal.

Her yelling? I figured it was my fault—I was too loud, or I’d done something wrong. The mood swings, the unpredictability… that was just “Mom.”

Years later, in 2002, I found myself on the other side of the story—this time as a parent. My 15-year-old daughter, struggling with anxiety, was prescribed medication. When it didn’t work, it was stopped abruptly. Days later, she was saying things that made no sense—terrifying things. A week after that, she was admitted to a psychiatric hospital.

It was a nightmare I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

While I’ve never been formally diagnosed, I know I’ve moved through periods of depression too. Not sad. Not joyful. Just… numb. Neutral. A kind of emotional purgatory.

So, What Is Mental Health?

Mental health isn’t always visible. It doesn’t always look like sadness or crisis. It can show up in the person who’s always busy, always helping others, always smiling—yet feels completely alone. It can look like exhaustion, irritability, or zoning out.

We often think of mental health as something you either “have” or “don’t.” But it’s not that black and white. Like physical health, it exists on a spectrum. Some days, you feel stable. Other days, you struggle to get out of bed.

So I ask you:

What does mental health mean to you?
Your ability to feel emotions without shame?
Your sense of calm—or chaos?
Your thoughts about yourself and your life?

Your capacity to love… including yourself?

It’s Mental Health Month. Let’s Be Real.

Years ago, I believed the answer was simple:

Eat right. Exercise. Think positive. Love others. And while those are beautiful, vital habits, they’re not always accessible—especially when you’re struggling

You might know what to eat… but stress sends you to fast food.
You may crave movement… but feel too tired to begin.
You want to love others… but find it hard to love yourself.

Mental health isn’t a checklist. It’s not something you “achieve.” It’s something you tend to, like a garden—daily, gently, imperfectly.

3 Gentle Ways to Support Your Mental Health (or Someone Else’s):

Be Honest with Yourself.
Admit when you’re not okay. Labeling a feeling doesn’t make it worse—it gives it room to breathe. “I feel anxious.” “I’m sad.” “I feel nothing.” These are truths, not weaknesses.
Practice Non-Attached Awareness.
Try observing your thoughts and feelings like clouds drifting by. You don’t have to cling to them—or push them away. Just witness. Let that be enough for today.
Offer Compassion—Especially to Yourself.
Treat yourself the way you would a struggling friend. Rest. Nourish your body. Say kind things to yourself. You don’t have to fix everything. You just have to stay present.

Final Thought:–

If you’re feeling heavy, uncertain, or numb—you’re not broken. You’re human.

This Mental Health Month, let’s move away from perfection and toward compassion. For ourselves. For those we love. For the ones we don’t even know are hurting.

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